Some thoughts on Easter.

This is based on John 20- his account of Mary and Peter and John at the tomb. 

This moment- this moment of resurrection and revelation- it is the punctuating expression of Jesus' life and death and life again.  It is the miracle from which all of the magic tricks- all of the stories- all of the conversations and sermons and meals flow into and back out of again.  This is the moment where it all becomes alive.  We thought that Jesus was alive before, but now, freed from the chains of death, he is living what he had come to bring us, what he had promised us, which was life to the full.  

 Can you remember way back to that first miracle?  Do you remember when he changed the water into wine?  Do you remember how we all felt at that wedding?  We remember the feeling that what was so good was now gone.  We recall that what was once ours has been lost.  That wine that was so right for this celebration was now just dry glasses and empty jars.  And then, all of a sudden, God had moved in his words and his flesh and we were drinking again.  

Did we have any idea that this first miracle of Jesus was just an arrow pointing to what was to come?  

Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.

I wonder if they looked back on that happy memory later on and saw it?  That just by changing water into wine, just by bringing the party back to a roar once more, that Jesus was telling them all of what was to come.  He was telling them that a time was coming when they would think that the party was over and then- ah, look- we're back!  And it is better than it ever was before.  That is what restoration is all about, of course. It is Jesus showing up out of the clear blue and saying, "You thought you knew what it was like to know me, what it was like to follow me, what it was like to watch me do my thing that I do.  You haven't seen anything yet."  

I drove home tonight in the silence of my old car and my thoughts rang out.  I had that song stuck in my head, that one by Dave Matthews. That one that is called "41" and rarely makes any sense at all.  But there is this one point, the pinnacle and the deepest place of the song all at once, that kept reprising itself in my thoughts... 

Im begging slow Im coming here
Only waiting I wanted to stay
I wanted to play
I wanted to love you

Im only this far
And only tomorrow leads my way

Im coming waltzing back and moving into your head
Please, I wouldnt pass you by
I would take any more than
What sort of man goes by
I will bring water...

And that is just part of the song, but it is the most beautiful part in my mind. Honestly, the lyrics on page do no justice to the feeling you get when you hear it, because you can hear this lover crying out for the one he loves.. but then- at the same time.. you can see it.  You can see what Dave is singing about.  He is singing about the Good Samaritan.  

And don't we know that Jesus, when he told that old story, was referring, ultimately, to himself.  He wanted us to see the moral and he wanted us to replicate it, but not because it was simply a good thing to do.  He wanted us to be the one's who bring water, to love, to never pass on by.  It is not that this is a good story that he wants us to do it, it is because it is who he is.  He is the one that was despised and rejected like the Samaritans were rejected, remember? We rejected him and then he found us again anyway.  We pushed him away and he loved us anyway.  

We were the ones who said no to him and he then decided to bring us water.  

You know, Jesus could never have appeared to Mary or the disciples or anyone else.  Honestly- it's the truth.  He could have rose again and that be that.  Our seeing him has no bearing on who or what he is.  We do not get to decide.  It is that he does show up to these folks that we get the chance to hope. 

I believe that he is alive for a couple of reasons.  I believe because Mary saw him.  So did John.  So did Peter. So did a few hundred more.  In this, an entire faith was transformed out of basically nothing.  Such a feat is staggering.  

I believe because someone else saw him.  Not because I have seen or felt the holes in his hands.  

But- I also believe because there have been moments in my life where my water was turned to wine.  There have been moments where faith, hope, and love in my life were as dry as the Great Plains in mid-summer and then, just like that (it would seem), there was wind, there was a breath, there was a peace, there was a grace, there was a forgiveness.  No doubt, there were times that I thought the storms were going to capsize me and then, just when it seemed that I would die, the wind stopped it's incessant blowing. There were times where I was lying in a ditch and then, just like that, someone brought me water.  

The issue that I am clinging to is that there is a risen Jesus who, if I could find him, I would be able to wrap my arms around his physical and breathing body.  But the truth is is that he is not here.  Not here here.  You know what I mean? But there are glimpses of what is to come.  There are glimpses of him when the water turns into wine.  There are glimpses of him when broken people heal and when what was dead springs back to life. 

We have a tendency to want to check out of life because Jesus paid it all.  He did pay it all.  But we still get the gift of life.  We still get to live through the hard moments, hanging out by the tomb, crying our eyes out, only to find that there is resurrection running loose.  That redemption is playing in the grass and that restoration is dancing in the streets. We can't check out of our lives- we must live through them- we must be at the tomb- we must wait and wait and cry and cry and plead and plead to see the glimpse of the resurrection, the taste of all being put right, because that is the gift of life. LIfe is a story and it is beautiful only when the tragic is turned to laughter. But we have to wait for it. 

I guess that what I am trying to say is this---- 

The love is here and the hope is coming. Hope is here and love is coming.  Jesus changed the water into wine and then he changed us into himself.  And is changing us into himself.  And that I want to be Mary. I want to be at the tomb, waiting on my God to move.  I don't know that she was waiting.  I don't know what she was doing, to be honest.  I have a feeling that she felt that the death was so final and complete that she had no idea where to go and so she just sat right there because when something dies it just gets very hard to move, to feel, to do anything. 

But there he was.  

You know, we all have our stuff.  We all have the things in our lives- the deaths, the broken relationships, the hurt pasts and the doubtful futures--- it's all there.  We cannot wish them away and I think that it is kind of silly to act like they are not important, to act as if our lives are unimportant.  God is seriously interested in our lives.  He is seriously interested in our hurts and our blindness and our bleeding.  If he did not care then he would not have come in the first place.  He would not have listened to that woman's story.  He would not have wept over Lazarus.  We miss the beauty of the resurrection if we reduce our lives to pettiness. That pettiness is the gift of life given by God and is a means to experience him.God moves in our lives because it shows us what we're looking forward to.  He moves in our lives to reveal himself- to strengthen us- to give us hope- just like he did to Mary. Just like he does to us at different times and in different ways.  Remember- Mary had no airtight theology.  Mary had no idea what was going on. Neither did John or Peter.  They had no idea what resurrection meant for them.  It says it right there in John 20.  Even when they saw him and believed, they still didn't understand what it meant.  So, what Jesus was doing for them was for us, in a way, but it was also incredibly personal for them as well. It was for Mary.  It was for Peter.  It was for John.  It was about us, but it was about them first.  They were as lost then as any of us ever are.  

Don't skip the moments where God shows his resurrected body to you.  Don't try to skip the tears and go straight to the laughing.  There are parts of my life that I am still waiting on the restoration, and maybe I will for a long time.  But I won't stop hoping, I won't stop loving, I won't stop waiting.  

I want to be the one who hopes and believes that restoration is coming.  I can't force it.  I can't make it happen. Our God is wild and free.  He died at just the right time.. He came when he did at just the right time.. he moved in my life in one way at just the right time, and he will move again when he is ready.  The in between does not change who he is.  It doesn't change the truth.  But it definitely changes my life. It changes everything about who I am... 

Because when he moves in our lives we find the hope to do the same. When he shows up for us then we show up for others.  We find the strength to forgive the ones who hurt us, we find the grace to love the ones who rejected us, we find the ability to bring water, to serve wine, to raise the dead to life.