500 Emails.

A bit of an explanation is in order-- if you notice, I frequently put up stuff that says "From Update such and such number."  That is because I am trying to lose a lot of weight.  I've sent 500 emails to a group of over 200. I've been doing it for 22 months now. Anyone can be on the list, but I don't force it on anyone.  So far I've lost a pretty good bit of weight. Anyway. Everyday I tell people what I eat and how much I exercise.  It is accountability and it is community and it is just great.  So that is what that means when you see it here on the blog.  It means that I just posted what I wrote to the group.  

Well, this is what I had to say for the 500th email. 

So here we finally are.  Number 500.  How ridiculous is that?  I mean, this is down right silly, if you ask me.  A lesson in perseverance?  Perhaps it is more of a an exercise in annoying your friends.  The jury is still out.  

But here we are.  The question on the table was, "What are you going to do for it?"  I don't know.  Can we have a party?  Logan, please bring the ice.  I'll get the cookie cake.  Ash, could you pick up some cups and maybe a few two liters?  Lukas said that he'll grab the party hats.  What can you do and what can you say?  I find myself at a loss for words and you are thinking, "Yeah, right."  

I find it kind of incredible that there are people that are getting this email for only the second time ever.  And I wonder when it will be the right time to stop.  We started this thing so that I could get to England, and there is no telling for sure when I'll be there.  When do you think the right time to stop is?  Sometimes I am so tired and I just don't have anything to say and I have no desire to share this stuff, and yet we keep moving and we keep sharing and I keep telling you what I eat and it seems like this whole experiment is like an extension of myself. I lived for 25 years without doing anything like this and I have almost lived two years with this in my life and truthfully it feels like a part of who I am.  

But that does not always make it fun or easy.  I remember that a long time ago Jesse said that this was going to get hard at some point.  And it has been hard, but not near as hard as this last year has been. The progress has slowed so much.  I thought that there were plateaus and there were rough patches before, but this really has been a tough year in so many ways and I do think that it shines through on the weekly progress.  But what are we to do?  Quit because it is hard?  Cry about it?  This is not about me getting to England, this is not about looking good in a pair of jeans or anything like that.  This is, I believe, about my kids.  I think this is a story being written for someone that doesn't exist yet.  I think this is about something that I'll never fully know.  And I think that is okay because, well, I think I'm going to trust Jesus, at least for today, and hopefully I'll have the nerve to do so again tomorrow.  

But let's talk about you.  There are three of you who have gotten every single email.  All 500.  There are some of you have received now a grand total of two. I have said this before and I want to say it again- this does not happen without you.  Thank you for standing with me on this.  This incredibly embarrassing thing.  This very hard thing.  Thank you for making it possible.  Thank you for making it somewhat fun a lot of the time.  Thank you for loving.  Thank you for giving a damn. 

So you know that I went to Chicago for a couple of days.  I have a habit of tacking on a couple of extra days to trips that I take.  I love wandering around and getting lost in giant cities.  I like the trains, I like the steam rising from the vents.  There are no words for how much I love that sense that I get when I'm in the middle of some place that is, well, a center of civilization.  And so that is what I thought that I would do. 

But I didn't really get much of a chance for that.  Because my friends, Anna and Sarah, they actually wanted to hangout with me.  They wanted to host me. Well, I don't know if they wanted to, but they did, with cheerful hearts.  They totally went out of their way for me the entire time that I was there.  Them and their friends were such a gift to me on a week where an escape to another city was exactly what I needed.  

I think that you folks are kind of like that.  You won't go away.  You don't stop being awesomely supportive.  You won't leave me alone.  And you know, there are days that I want to be left alone, but you don't listen to that.  You keep showing up.  

What can I possibly say to you for that?  Thank you just rings hollow, doesn't it?  

Its not about me.  It is a motto that somehow seems cliche at this point.  But this is really not about me.  If it is about anybody, it really is about the amazing creativity of a God who has these ridiculous ideas, these mesmerizing plans.  I remember September two years ago.  I prayed to God asking him, "How are you going to make this happen?  Aren't you God?  If you don't do this then I don't know what I'll do."  

And in this particular situation, in this little part of someone's life, he has shown up.  It was like he was saying, "You have no idea what I'm about to do." I can almost feel him smile as I type these words. 

As Megan and I drank our coffees in the morning in Chicago like we used to do in Salamanca, I told her how I once prayed to God that I really did want to know and follow Jesus but please, for the love, don't let it be boring.  Let my life be an adventure.  That was 10 years ago.  I told Megan how baffled I am that this is exactly what I asked for, that this is exactly what I wanted.  

I am tired.  And I get beaten.  And I fail people.  And I'm jerk a lot of the time.  But this Jesus.  Gosh, what a guy.  What an adventure.  How do I know there is love? How do I know that there is a God that has this all wrapped up in his head?  

I don't.  I have all of the answers.  I can't heal all wounds and I can't be the catcher in the rye field saving everyone from running off of a cliff.  

But I do have this hint.  I have this sense.  This sense that there is something going on out there that is love and it is truth and that somehow death is swallowed up in life somewhere for us.  For all of us.  

And you people are a glimpse of that for me.  You, my friend, are a shining star of what tomorrow will be, what we are looking forward to, what we are resting our hopes and dreams in.  

Thank you for that.  You've saved my life. Do you hear me?  Are you listening?  You are the Gospel, my friend.  The living and breathing Gospel Truth.  Write that on your mirror and on your heart because nothing has ever been more true. 

Breakfast.  Eggs. 4.  Toast. 4. 

Lunch. A bit of hummus and some bread with a little salad.  4 for the bread.  Hummus. 3.  Salad. 2 for the dressing. 

Dinner. Salad with chicken in it.  3.5 for the salad. 1.5 for the croutons. 2 for the sunflower seeds. Ranch. 4.5. 

Total: 28.5 out of 28.  

Exercise: 45 minutes on the run. 

Scale: In two weeks we are down 1.2.  Not bad given the lack of running and the bad days last week.  Good job, team. Total loss: 132.2. 

Tatum. 

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Jason Tatum.

Regular Updates @ www.jasontatum.org

"Resurgam".