On Golf Cart Rides.

From the Daily Update (5/12/09)

Good Evening. 

Yesterday went well. I'm spending a few days to collect myself and get life in order down here.  I'm just trying to live centrally and simply for a few days so that I can get some things taken care of. You know, things like car problems and laundry and mail and getting new driver's licenses and such.  

But the real perk yesterday was when my dear friend Sarah Watson came down for a visit.  She spent most of the afternoon here and we took the golf cart out for a spin. I realize that some of you may not know about this, so I need to explain something.  I live in a town called Peachtree City.  Peachtree City, or "PTC" as it is often called, is a planned suburb that was built around five different golf courses.  The brilliant idea that the city planners had was to build golf cart paths, separate from roads, that connected the city from every street and neighborhood to every golf course.  This eventually evolved into having the paths connect to all developments, rather they be offices or retail shops or grocery stores or whatever else you may be able to dream up in your golfy little mind.  It really is a great idea- and no- this is not a retirement community.  I do believe that PTC was the first, if not the only, community to do this.  Apparently there are some retirement villages for the elderly out there in the U.S. of A. that also employ this use of transportation.  It is all fun and games until you go to the grocery store and you see that the perfect spot is taken up by a golf cart.  Somehow you feel very cheated by this.  I guess that it is also important to mention that the paths that I am running on every single day are actually golf cart paths- but people also use them for running, walking, biking, roller blading, cross stitching, ballet, leg wrestling, and more. 

So all of that is to say that yesterday was the first golf cart ride that I have gone on since moving into the Fortunato's.  This is amazing because of the above stated history and because the Fortunato's own a golf cart.  I really had no idea what Sarah and I were going to do when she got down here and I was pleasantly startled when she immediately stated that she wanted to go on a golf cart ride.  When she said that, I had one of those, "Oh... yeah" moments, like you have just woken from a long sleep.  How did I miss this before? 

So we took that little four wheeled and electric powered bundle of fun out on those old dusty paths.  Here are three important lessons that I learned: 

1. Golf carts do not handle the same as, say, a Corvette.  You might be moving the steering wheel around, but that doesn't mean that you are in control.  

2.  Find yourself a good hill and don't hit the break going down. Accumulate a dangerous amount of speed (not the drug).   The person next to you will at first be really excited, then scared, then laughing hysterically. 

3. If you decide to off road your vehicle upon spotting an open, grassy field, be wary.  It is highly likely that said field is really very muddy in the middle (even if you can't see the mud at first) and that you are sure to get stuck for an extended period of time.  You will get very muddy as you push with all of your might to remove said cart from said mud. 

3.5  If you do get stuck in some muddy field, you will have this occur:  A golf cart full of snotty teenagers will slow down and stare at you.  If you wave, they will say, "Are you stuck?" When you reply that you are, in fact "stuck", they will just keep going, slowly, staring, smiling.  It's a shame.