your kingdom come

So this here is the transcript of a talk I did at GTCCF back in November.  I am literally pulling this straight from my laptop, without edit.  So please have mercy on my mistakes.. it really wasn't meant to be read word for word. 

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we all have things that motivate us. things that drive us. there are hopes and dreams

that make us get out of bed in the morning and keep us from setting the registrarʼs office

on fire.

the fact is, there is a reason why you got out of bed this morning. there are a lot of

reasons, actually. we are complex people. we are more like songs or poems or paint

on a canvas than formulas, graphs and charts. people are a mystery.

the greatest semester of my life was when i went to spain. let me gloat now and forever

more that i was part of that glorious first year in spain. we renovated the house in 12

days and got it ready for our kick off party. we saw 85 people come through the doors

on the first night. i even built a closet. it almost killed me.

and i will never forget what my feelings where like on that trip across the atlantic. i saw

in that flight the entirety of my life at a summit. all of my hopes, dreams, and desires

were laid out before God on that 8 hour flight. i felt that by being on that flight to spainmy

life was never going to be the same-that my future was headed into the

stratosphere.

and let me tell you. spain for me was everything that it was cracked up to be. i have

never felt more alive-consistently-daily waking up-breathing in the cold air and knowing

that i am connected to the kingdom of God in a very real and tangible way. however

God wants to use me...where ever he wants to take me-iʼm basically at his mercy. iʼll go

anywhere. i will do anything.

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well it just so happened that i met a girl when i was in salamanca. i will never forget the

first time i saw her. i was walking down the street and she was coming in the opposite

direction… this was a crowded street….but she stuck out. she was….lovely. to say the

least. we made eye contact and we both smiled as we passed each other. a few hours

later i was in line at the registrars office...in line for 2 hours…guess who was next to me

in line?

well we hit it off. somehow, this line didnʼt move like normal lines and therefore it did not

matter our standing in the line….we were somehow in the middle but at the end of it we

were the last two people called.

i remember walking out of that telling myself not to think about it. donʼt think about that

girl. donʼt do it. she has really pretty eyes…

but donʼt do it.

and then i ran into her again a few days later.

and then again…

and then before you knew what had happened..we were spending a lot of time together.

and that is when i found myself on a train with her, her friend and lukas to a small city on

the edge of spain-during the holiday of carnival.

the bull story.

it is amazing what you will do when want something---but you just donʼt know how to get

it.

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pray.

praying is a difficult thing for me. its hard for me to sit still for very long and center

myself. i have a hard time being really focused. i have a hard time just talking to God

as if he were in the room. i have a hard time just saying the lordʼs prayer- because i

think that it lacks feeling. iʼm really not good at praying.

and its difficult because i know that i need to pray. i am educated enough to know that

for me to have a great relationship with my God-that i need to talk to him. but its

difficult. I get restless. i fall asleep.

and the worst part about it is this----that i have all of these hopes and dreams. when i

am an honest with myself i realize that i am trying to figure out a way for God to realize

how seriously i need him to provide the things that i am needing/hoping for/dream of.

i need him to be God in my life. I need him to provide. but i feel silly sitting in my bed,

rattling off my hopes and dreams like a christmas list….and i just donʼt know what to

say.

luke 11 is another place where jesus talks about prayer.

in this version it says:

One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples

said to him, "Lord, teach us to pray”.

and you wouldnʼt believe it. But jesus teaches them how to pray. He said: 2He said to

them, "When you pray, say” and then he goes into a smaller and simpler version of the

Lordʼs Prayer. The same prayer that you can hear in a million football locker rooms

every weekend all across America.

Here is what is so great about this...its very rare that Jesus actually told his friends how

to do anything directly, or how to understand something in a simple way..

usually, his interactions where something like this: “jesus. what will heaven be like?

“heaven will be like a mustard seed”. or a man on a journey. or 10 virgins….that ones

my favorite. Jesus? what are you talking about...a bird in the hand is better than 2 in

the bush…a penny saved is a penny earned..

what?

but not with prayer. jesus, teach us to pray, and he goes right into it.

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and i think jesus knew something about prayer. i believe that jesus had this entire

collection of hopes and dreams and wishes and desires just like we do. what i mean

is..he was a person. he breathed the same air we breathe.

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i can see jesus. i can see this guy sitting in the garden of gethsemane. his whole life is

swiftly coming to an end. almost everyone has deserted him...his friends have gone to

sleep on him….people are on their way at that moment to take him away and by

morning have him hanging on a cross, drained of all the blood in his body…

and he knows what is coming…..and he knows that when he hangs on that cross...he is

going to become the sacrifice. he is going to take on my sin. and that means that his

perfect and wonderful relationship with Father God is going to be severed...and for

Jesus-that meant absolute hell. and all of his hopes and wishes are dreams and

desires are on this idea that maybe there is another way to save the world-but not have

to suffer in that way….he can take the beating and dying..but he canʼt take losing his

relationship with his Father.

i think it was at this moment...when Jesus was absolutely desperate...when he was at

the end of himself that he looks at talks to God and says...i want your will to be done.

not my own.

i want your kingdom to come in my life.

i want your plan. i want your deal.

i want you.

whatever it is that you have planned up there, however it is that you say you are going

to provide for me…..i want that.

when we pray “your kingdom come, your will be done.” i believe that we are doing

something huge. we are doing something revolutionary. we are saying to God. I want

your kingdom. your plan.your hopes and dreams for me. and not my own. i am not my

own king.

i give you my life.

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jenny is a girl in the youth group at the church i work at. she is a ward of the state. she

tells me that her father is a career criminal-she says it with a hint of pride. her and her

dad have never met-but she got a letter from him--the return address was the state

penninatentary of augusta.

she wants to know what she should do... should she trust him? should she meet him

when he gets out prison?

i donʼt know. but i do know that she is wonderful child of God-and that i know that he is

going to provide a way for her. he is going give her a way that is better than any advice

that i can dream up…if she will wake up tomorrow-and she will be real with God about

what she wants, what she dreams, what she hopes for...and then tells him….BUT

YOUR KINGDOM, GOD. YOUR KINGDOM.

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and here am i...with a lifetime of hopes and dreams. hopes and dreams that swirling

around in my heart from sun up to sun down---they are the things that motivate me...that

get me out of bed in the morning…

you know what i want….i want to be about half my current size. i want to live to be 100.

i want to marry a beautiful and smart and talented woman who loves God 1st and then

2nd and everyone else a distant 3rd.

i used to want to meet the father who left me. not really anymore. now i want to be a

father. i want donʼt want to be my dad. in 50 years, iʼm going to be like rickʼs dad. i

want to move to england...i want to live everywhere and drink coffee in every culture…

i want to write really good books that you will read over and over. i want to change the

world.

in my heart-that would be heaven on earth.

but guess what-there is a God who has hopes and dreams for me as well. and when i

wake up tomorrow morning- iʼm going to look up at my God...iʼm going to tell that he is

my God.. he is my father...he is my king..and i have my hopes and my dreams...but

what i really want is his hopes and dreams for me. i want his plan. i want his deal. i

believe he will provide away to get there. and slowly, heaven is going to flood my heart,

invade my life….what if we all did that? what if we trusted him to provide the way...like

he provided wine at a wedding...like he provided safety from the storms...like he

provided a net full of fish...like he provided lunch for 5000 people out of nothing.. what if

he was the kind of God who could provide for us like that...what if we gave him the

chance...well then the world would never be the same….