another in the spain series

So I know what yall are thinking. Who does Tatum think he is? He never calls! He never writes! Not so much as a chocolate on Valentines Day! Youre thinking that youll never take me back after this horrible lack of affection. I know how you feel. Please, if you can find it within the deep and hidden chambers of your heart, then I ask...no....I beg your forgiveness. Take me back or lose me forever. I know you will. You always do.

I have to admit that I have lacked the inspiration to write home over the past few months. I realize that postcards just do not do this justice. I know that I have had my head and my heart full with a lifetime worth of change and challenge in just two and half months. I have experienced life as an adventure through the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual. I can see so much now.

I went to the doctor today. Ive had a touch of bronchitis that just wont quit. Its not that bad mom, I promise, but I had to get it taken care of. I waited for an hour to get into the office. Im not sure why I had to wait so long, except for the fact that they built a waiting room and they intend to use it. I walked into see Dr Jesus (seriously) and I explained to him what was up and how I had the black lung and all that stuff, and he asked me some questions, I answered them, and this was all in Spanish. ( now is when you are impressed). All of this took five minutes and he gave me a good stern look and then informed that I had Bronchitis. "Yes, I know this." I said to Jesus. He told me to take a prescription. I left, and I thought to myself: "Self, that wasnt so bad. Although doctors are slow and dangerous behind the wheel, they can still serve a purpose. I got a real prescription out this!" So I walked myself over to the farmacia and promptly received 7 pills for 32 hard earned Euros. I am none too please.

I suppose the significance in the doctors waiting room is being able to see. I can look around this little room full of coughs and colds and Lord knows what, and I can only imagine the lives that I will get to behold for only a moment. I see the 40 something in the sleek European suit, half a life spent filling his heart with possessions, with money that he cant keep forever. I see the salty looking man in his early sixties, sitting with the woman who he has subjected to disrespect for all those years. A woman he has cheated time and time again. I can see the sorrow in his eyes over the wasted love. I see the dear woman with strained forgiveness in her own eyes. I see the 12 year old boy making his sickness seem like a plague because he doesnt want to go to school. He walks as if he is on the green mile, he pulls his hand across his brow in the most dramatic fashion. I wonder if he will have friends who will pick him up in the years to come. Will they pull him along when he feels hopeless, when he feels so sad and he doesnt know why? A woman with a saint on her necklace, who knows why its there, or what it means to her. A woman in her twenties flipping violently through the pages of a magazine. Her hips are not small enough, her nose is slightly crooked, she sees no beauty in herself. She will do anything to be thin, she will do anything to be loved. But she doesnt see that love is different than she thinks.

I can see so much. I can see Maria, Javy, Josefina, Belen, Alba, Eva. I can see them all packed into a bar late friday night, listening to a band sing out "rain down your love on us". They dont see it yet, but they will soon. They dont see what we are so happy about, but they will soon. They dont see why we want to hang out with them instead of the idiot American students who will disrespect them in a heartbeat, but they will soon. They dont see why we believe in things we cant see, but they will soon.

I know this because I see so much more than I could see in January. I can see my life being transformed. I feel my old wounds being healed up, I can see myself being the man I want to be for a family. I can see myself actually reaching something called potential. Despite my disobedient lungs, Im healthy and energized. I can receive love in ways I never thought I could. I can sacrifice myself because I can see that there is something more real than this world. Something that will be more brilliant to my eyes than the mountains of southern Spain, more glorious than the great cathedrals of this earth.

I see these things because of an amazing team. Because of friends that I call my family. Because of a ministry that lets me sit there all day if I want and drink coffee and listen to the rain. Its because of the coffee Ive had with Leah, the parties at the Hightowers, the care of the McCabe's, the wisdom of Steve. The notes from Corrie, the van ride with David Cauble, the top of the morning with Kiess, the randomness and love of Hartley, the intellect of Becky. The leadership of Bagwell. The time here with people that I never dreamed of meeting when I made that long flight to Madrid. People that will be apart of my life forever. If you are reading this, its because of you. We are no set of individuals thrown over here to do what we do. We are are a family, and you are apart of it. We are doing what we are doing now because of the Jesus that burns inside in your chest. Our success is your success. Our pain is your pain. Our love is your love. Thank you for joining me. Ill write more soon...I promise.

So long, Tatum