Hey.
For those you who who might skip these that are longer than most, I'm asking you for your forgiveness in advance. We had a night over here in England on Wednesday that no one will soon forget, and since you and I are all in this whole thing together, I think it is important for you to know what has happened, as you are apart of these whole dreams that are taking their tangible shapes.
It is a few minutes shy of midnight here as I type, and with the lack of sleep and the coffee leaving my system, I have to say that my eyes are getting quite heavy. Regardless of that, there is a story to tell, so I hope that you have a moment to spare.
I mentioned to you that Update 166 might be one that was worth going back and looking over. It's longer, but it will give you the backstory that I will spare you now. What happened here was a continuation from that story written back in July. The ending of that email was nothing but a "To Be Continued", as it would turn out. I have added it to the bottom of this email for your convenience. If you wish to go down there now, then please do. I'll wait.
---
Our friend Pete had said that he wanted to recreate that night that him and Nathan and I shared together in July. Since that conversation on that memorable night, Pete and Nathan had continued to meet together weekly to discuss the things of life and of God, of faith and of community and doubt and struggle. Pete had continued to show up at the Canvas house on a daily basis to drink the tea and the coffee, to have long talks with the various people that wandered through her doors. He came for the meals and he came for the music, but more than anything else, Pete came for the community. Over these days and weeks that have compounded into months, into a year, Pete had found a family that he could trust. He could be loved and he could love.
Pete has begun to see God taking shape in his eyes and up into his mind and down into the deep places of his heart. He has found himself in countless moments and circumstances, situations and conversations that have begged him to take a look at this man called Jesus who each staff member of Canvas insisted on going back to, time after time.
And then I walked through the doors of Canvas on Monday and there he was, just like I knew he would be. We sat outside and talked and he told me how he pretty much thought that he believed in most of this stuff by now, but he had some concerns, some questions, some lingering doubts. "Don't we all, Pete? Don't we all?" is what I replied.
Pete said that he was not quite sure about this whole idea of heaven. What is it and what is it going to be like? How does it work?
"Well, I really don't know, Pete. I wish I did." I told him that I remember Angie Stryker saying, "You're not going to be disappointed, people." And I thought this must be true, if nothing else. I then said something about how the community of Canvas, the love that he has experienced there with those friends, that this possibly could be a glimpse, just a taste, of what heaven would be like. We continued to talk about things for awhile that afternoon and eventually everything wound it's way down. That night, on Amanda Kepfer's last night in town, they went out for some dinner and she shared with him her life and the grace of Jesus and what it has looked like in her life. That conversation made a mark.
So on Wednesday night I found myself at The Goose, once again with Pete and Nathan. Pete tells me that he wants to talk to me. I told him that I had a proposition for him. Pete's eyes light up with curiosity and promise as we sit and we talk about things. Not soon after that, another student shows up, and the prospects of getting into the heart of what Pete is thinking is stifled for awhile. It would have to wait.
We were at The Goose for awhile. At one point, Pete asked the other student what he was thinking about all of this God stuff. He confessed to him that he thought that Canvas "had finally gotten him." He was joking. Kind of. Later on, an old and very drunk man came out and started talking to me, asking me where I was from and what I was doing in Birmingham. "I'm a minister", I said to him. He looked down at the ground. He swore. The man looks up to Nathan and said, "What about you? What brings you?" Nathan then promptly replies that he too is a minister. The man looks down once again, he takes a quick drag from his cigarette and he swears again. He follows that with, "Get a grip." After this, he begins to go on and on about how America is the (crap)hole of the world. "Pure (crap)" he repeats over and over again. Nathan asked him if he had ever been to America and the man says, "Are you kidding? No way. It's pure (crap). It's full of those talk show hosts." We laughed but Pete and the other student were getting angry. Pete finally looks up and in a quiet but firm voice he says, "Many of my best friends are Americans. Let me tell you this, if America produces anyone else that is half as good as these guys, then we are lucky to have them." The man said that we were the exceptions, and even we had to find religion and get the hell out of there.
Another great line from Pete that night came from a conversation about the haiku. Someone brought up the fact that I used to do those on a daily basis on Facebook, and I said that I quit. Pete said, "Yeah! I loved those haiku! What happened?" I told him that I ran out of desire, and plus, I think that it started to get annoying. Pete replied, "Annoying? It's not that bad. It's not as if you're sending them a daily email about what you eat everyday."
The night went on and on in this great way. Finally, it was time to go and part ways. Nathan needed to call Jenn and the other student had work to do. Pete and I headed back to Canvas.
We each got a cup of coffee and settled down in a quiet room. "What is on your mind, Pete?" is how I began the conversation.
He said, "Well. I was thinking about this whole heaven thing that we were talking about the other day and I realized something. I was thinking about this idea of Canvas being a glimpse of what heaven is like and I figured to myself, if all heaven turned out to be was just Canvas for eternity, then I would gladly take that."
As Pete made clear to me, a year ago he was not simply an atheist. Pete was a self-described "Anti-theist." Pete was opposed and angry at the very idea of a God. But now it seemed that an eternity spent with Jesus and these people, well, that didn't seem so bad after all.
Pete and I continued to talk. We talked about what we looked forward to. He asked lots of questions about so many different things. "We don't know what heaven is going to look like," I told him, "but I believe that the brightest color of this world and the happiest day at Canvas will be dulled and washed out compared to what we are looking forward to." Pete nodded his head in approval, in anticipation.
We talked about our struggles. We talked about relationships. We talked about how frustrating it is that we continue to do the things that we don't want to do. We talked about grace and how we are sons of God. I told him about this idea of a Father. An "Abba", a daddy. How that is the only father that I've got and at the end of the day, he is all that we've all got to depend on. He is the one hand that will not let us go.
We talked about completion. You know, that idea of perfection. About who we were and who we are and who we will one day be. I remember Brian Sorrow reciting to me, "He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion.. to perfection." And I recited that back to Pete, and we dreamed of who God was going to turn us into. We marveled at the miracle of our Father changing us, loving us, holding us.
Pete and I talked about community. "What will it look like down the road? What will happen when I leave Canvas? What if I don't find a church where people get it?"
"Well, Pete, none of us really get it." We don't. "Well, you guys get as much as anyone can get it."
"Not true, Pete." Gosh, I hope that is not true. Please, God, don't let that be true. We talked about how we will always let each other down, how we will fail each other at times, but God will provide. That Psalm 139 is true: that his hand is always on us, it does not matter where we go. I promised him that as long as I was alive that I would be his friend, that I would be apart of his community. I asked him to consider, in light of how little we really know one another, how much farther Nathan and Natalie and the rest of the team would go for him. Pete just smiled and said, "I know it. I know it."
We talked about communion. About how grace covers us because God doesn't see the screw up anymore. How he does not see the separation- how the space between us has now vanished. We talked about how the blood of Jesus flows now through our veins and how his body makes up our hearts now. "God sees you the way he sees Jesus, Pete." And Pete just kept on smiling, and he kept on asking questions, and we kept on sipping coffee.
That led to the issue of baptism. Pete brought it up. I said something about some verses in Romans 6, that bit about "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?"
Pete said it before I could: "Hell no."
Pete and I talked about what it means to be baptized and how great it is for his community, his family, to share it with him. I told that it was like his second birthday that we would celebrate.
I asked Pete if that was something that he wanted to do and he said, "Yes. I think it is. I want to be baptized."
Pete went to the bathroom and I just started thanking God for who he was, for what he was, for what he was doing there in that room.
Pete comes back and I asked him if he knew anything about this "Great Confession." No, he didn't. So I told him that old story that involved another Peter. I said that it was one of those things that we all have done, that it was the beginning for us, that it was the cornerstone of our lives, this confession. This, "I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God."
"Are you ready for that, Pete?"
"Why yes. Yes, I think I am."
"Okay, Pete. I want Nathan to do this. Nathan would want this." Pete loved it because there isn't much more in this world that Pete loves more than Nathan.
We called him and we got a hold of him. We go over to where Nathan lives and he comes out in his underwear. Nathan asks for Pete to repeat after him, and it went like this:
I believe..
I Believe.
that Jesus is the Christ...
That Jesus Is The Christ.
The Son of the living God...
The Son of the Living God!
And he is my personal lord and savior...
And He Is My Personal Lord And Saviour (Pete is English, so he has to have a Saviour, not a Savior.)
And so it went.
We went back to Canvas and began making the calls. We went back and we talked and we laughed and we discussed how not everything in our lives will be solved but how everything is solved, in a way. The parts that matter the most are.
I asked him how he felt about being the very first baptism in the history of Canvas and he said, "I guess I never really expected it. It's a bit odd, really. When you consider it all." Then Pete started talking about how remarkable the timing was. How incredible it was in the timing of meeting Robert and Natalie. In having Kevin and Leah come and help him last spring. In those Wednesday nights with Nathan. In our conversation last summer. In Amanda being there last week. In me being here again this week.
Slowly, the interns and the exchange students began to find their way to us. We sat outside in that cold, damp English air and we laughed and we joked and we celebrated deep into the night.
Pete is gracious enough to want to be baptized while I'm still in the country. Pete also said that he wanted this story to be in the update. He said that he wanted to be an encouragement to whoever he could be one to. To offer hope.
I have rarely had a night so close to the hand of God. For awhile we talked about this idea of the resurrection. This idea of a Living God being so tangible. That Jesus was alive and well and if we could find him then we would be able to feel those holes in his hands, in his feet, in his side. And I tell you that it almost felt that he was physically there. Even still, I could feel Jesus on Wednesday night beating inside of my chest, I could hear him running through the veins of Pete.
And in such a moment as it was I felt that I could look up and see our flesh and bones laid down into the very fabric of forever. I believed and knew more than I could have ever explained that we were kissing the hand of our creator, that we were wrapped up into the arms our father. And, as I looked at Pete I said, "Nothing will ever be the same." And he said, "I know. I know that it will never be the same."
As I said at the end of of #166--- thanks for being apart of this, my dear friends. You are changing the world.
--------------------------------
Number 166
If you never read another update again, I would ask that you read this
one. If you are new, I promise that they are not all so long and
involved.
Today was the great refocusing. The moment where the Jesus that I know
and know that loves me came beside me and sat down and reminded me of
what this is all about. Reminded me of what he has called me to, of
who I am.
Breakfast: toast on nutella. banana. coffee.
Lunch: No lunch, some coffee with Amos and Caleb. Gosh, I love those
guys.
Dinner: Nathan took us to this place called the Rooster House.
Chicken and fries. So unhealthy. Good thing that I hadn't had much
else the entire day. I also walked more today than I have in a really
long time. We started off with a brisk 30 minute walk over to see
Amos and Caleb. Then I picked up friends at the station in the City
Centre and I walked them around for about about an hour, then we hoped
on a bus to go the university, but I took us off the bus about a mile
early, so we walked some more. And then at the end of the night we
took the 20 minute walk back late at night. So yeah, lots of walking.
It was good.
The people that came in for the afternoon were all people who are now
on this list. It was the fall exchange student, Katie Ruth, the
spring exchange student Laura, Spain exchange student, Brittany, and
girlfriend of fellow teammate, Molly. It was a blast to have them
here. It was a good thing to have them up to see the campus and the
city and get excited about where they are going to be in the near
future. We met up with Nathan and then Kevin and Leah and we hit a
couple of pubs, plus the Rooster House. It was great to see them all
interacting and asking them questions about living in Birmingham and
generally just getting excited about how big this is that we all get
to be apart of. I just can't put it into words how great it was.
After I dropped the girls off at the station, I went back to Selly Oak
to meet up with Nathan and a student named Pete, who were hanging out
a pub called "The Goose." Pete first met Robert and Natalie and the
Millers back in early February, and they were all fast friends. From
the beginning, Pete let it be known that he was an atheist, completely
unbelieving in any sort of God, particularly a Christian God.
Regardless of that, they all kept loving Pete and inviting him to
events and hangouts and Pete kept on showing up. One night Pete's
house was broken into, and the first people that he called were his
friends from Globalscope, or Canvas, as our ministry is known. Of
course, Kevin and Leah went over to help him clean up, and it was
little moments like that really started to make Pete think that these
people really loved him. Well eventually Nathan arrived in England
and they were fast friends. They began to hangout all of the time and
honestly really grew to have a big love for one another. After
awhile, Nathan and him were having many conversations about Jesus and
faith and all of this God stuff. These conversations kept fueling
Nathan and I would go so far as to say that it fuels the entire team
as well in a lot of ways.
I knew when I showed up tonight that Pete was important. Everyone
loves this guy so much that they talk about him non-stop. I met him
for the first time at breakfast on Saturday, but sadly we did not
really have the chance to connect. So I sat down tonight and we start
talking. He is telling me about going to church with Nathan and his
thoughts on the subject, and how he has been pleasantly surprised and
how he feels like it is good for him. Pete tells me about how he
isn't a Christian, but how he is now open up to the possibility of
God, and how much respect he has for the Canvas people, and how much
he respects Jesus and his teaching.
So I am just sitting there listening and asking him questions. I am
asking questions about what he believes and what he doesn't believe,
about what he has considered and what he hasn't. He keeps answering
honestly and would occasionally say things like "Yes, that's something
I haven't considered" or "Yeah, we've talked about that before, and I
just haven't made up my mind." You know, it was just good talk about
Jesus and all. At one point Pete goes to the bathroom and Nathan says
"Gosh. Every time he starts talking about Jesus, it just about makes
me cry. I want him to know Jesus so much." Pete would come back and
we would talk some more. He kept telling me how much Nathan means to
him, and Nathan says "You're going to make me cry." Pete replied "I
know that I'm going to make you cry one day." Pete knows, because
Nathan has told him so, that when Pete decides to follow Jesus that
Nathan will weep. Pete says "Yeah. I have potential, don't I Nathan?"
Nathan is on the verge of tears again.
This entire time our conversations would be skipping in and out of
talk about TV shows, America, England, and then always back to Jesus.
The guy is just overall hilarious and so much fun to be around, you
can really talk about anything. So the night goes on and Pete keeps
telling me how much Canvas means to him, how Nathan is one of his best
friends, how he had made the Canvas house his second home. Another
thing that we were talking about was Nathan and his granddad, who
hasn't been doing well, and how "Cotton" (as he is known) is such an
amazing man and has done so many great things with his life. And so
that gets me thinking, and I start talking about how amazing it is
that Nathan gets to sit there with Pete and share Jesus with him
because of the fact that his father knew Jesus and shared him with him
and how Cotton had done the same thing. We were all kind of caught up
in the moment of it all, how it was because of Cotton knowing Jesus
that Nathan was sitting there at that table, hanging out with Pete. I
looked over to Nathan and I said "You know, it's almost like the
legacy of who your grandfather was is now being seen right here at
this table, through you, with Pete." And then Nathan starts to tear
up. And Pete is getting caught up in it, and Pete is talking about
how great Cotton must have been because of how great Nathan has been
to him, and now I'm sitting there and the tears begin to well up in my
eyes. Pete raises his glass and says "Here's to Cotton." And I tell
Pete that in ten years he'll be sitting at that same table, loving
someone just like himself and they too will be toasting to Cotton
because of the Jesus that loved us all so much. And you can see that
Pete is truly open to that idea, to that crazy dream.
At one point Nathan goes to make an order and Pete looks over at me
and says: "I can't really put into words what this guy means to me.
He's one of my best friends. I have never had anyone believe in me
like he does."
And you should know by now that Pete knows what we are all about. He
knows that all of this money was raised and everyone left their
hometown and friends and families because they wanted to meet him. I
mean, he knows it. And so I started telling Pete about this ministry
that they have over at Georgia Tech. How there are these 400 hundred
or so students that are coming in and out of the doors throughout the
week, coming in to play games, to talk about their lives, to have
someone listen to them, to eat free food, to love people and to be
loved, and how its a place full of people like him. And Pete just
says that it sounds incredible, and Nathan just sort of exclaims "It
is so big! This whole thing is so big!" and Nathan and I again begin
to tear up in front of Pete, and Pete smiles with us, and we toast to
Cotton again. And I ask Pete to excuse us, that this isn't just a
show, that this is our lives. And he tells us that he knows, and that
he loves us. And he tells me how he can't wait for me to be over
permanently.
And we continued to talk.. it was such an emotional night, and the
conversation was so real and wonderful.
And then I asked Pete if he wanted to know about what I am having to
do be able to come to England to hangout with him. And so I tell him
this whole story, from the very beginning. I told him how I talked at
Cafe CCF back in late November, and how something in that talk changed
me, how it woke something up in me by telling everyone that I wanted
to lose weight, marry a great woman and move to England. How I wanted
to change the world. I told him how what I really wanted was to have
Jesus. I told him how this whole weight loss thing is my greatest
struggle. I told him about the talk that I gave about England the
next week and how something starting working in me, and how I went to
be that Sunday night in December thinking "Today is the day." I told
him all of this.
I told him about the walking, and the asking people to pray and the
conversations with Angie that led to this very email list. I told him
how it started with just a few and how now there are so many more. I
told him all of that and how all of this is because, sure, I want to
live a long life, sure, I want to be healthy and all of that, but
really I want this because I want to come over and hangout with him.
I told him that these 76 pounds have been about him, someone that I
had never met before. I told him all of this and more.
And after this email, Pete will be reading these as well. Pete is
going to be in on this little community. Pete told me that he would
really like to get the emails. Pete made me tear up for the third
time that night.
And right now, by the talk of Cotton, by the talk of CCF, by the talk
of these emails and by the talk of how this is what our lives are
about, Nathan is on the phone with his mom in the other room, crying
his eyes out. Crying, because this is real. Because the Jesus that
walked around with dirty feet and died an ugly death, is now walking
around the streets of Birmingham, walking around with the hands and
the feet of this campus ministry that we call "Canvas." He is walking
right into the arms of Pete, I guy who told me tonight that he never
really felt like he was worth anything, who told me tonight that he
had always hated himself- that is- before he met the people from
Canvas.
We hugged and Pete told me that he loved me, that loved Nathan, and
then we parted ways. Nathan and I practically skipped the entire way
home.
Thanks for reading. You are changing the world.
Love,
Tatum.
one. If you are new, I promise that they are not all so long and
involved.
Today was the great refocusing. The moment where the Jesus that I know
and know that loves me came beside me and sat down and reminded me of
what this is all about. Reminded me of what he has called me to, of
who I am.
Breakfast: toast on nutella. banana. coffee.
Lunch: No lunch, some coffee with Amos and Caleb. Gosh, I love those
guys.
Dinner: Nathan took us to this place called the Rooster House.
Chicken and fries. So unhealthy. Good thing that I hadn't had much
else the entire day. I also walked more today than I have in a really
long time. We started off with a brisk 30 minute walk over to see
Amos and Caleb. Then I picked up friends at the station in the City
Centre and I walked them around for about about an hour, then we hoped
on a bus to go the university, but I took us off the bus about a mile
early, so we walked some more. And then at the end of the night we
took the 20 minute walk back late at night. So yeah, lots of walking.
It was good.
The people that came in for the afternoon were all people who are now
on this list. It was the fall exchange student, Katie Ruth, the
spring exchange student Laura, Spain exchange student, Brittany, and
girlfriend of fellow teammate, Molly. It was a blast to have them
here. It was a good thing to have them up to see the campus and the
city and get excited about where they are going to be in the near
future. We met up with Nathan and then Kevin and Leah and we hit a
couple of pubs, plus the Rooster House. It was great to see them all
interacting and asking them questions about living in Birmingham and
generally just getting excited about how big this is that we all get
to be apart of. I just can't put it into words how great it was.
After I dropped the girls off at the station, I went back to Selly Oak
to meet up with Nathan and a student named Pete, who were hanging out
a pub called "The Goose." Pete first met Robert and Natalie and the
Millers back in early February, and they were all fast friends. From
the beginning, Pete let it be known that he was an atheist, completely
unbelieving in any sort of God, particularly a Christian God.
Regardless of that, they all kept loving Pete and inviting him to
events and hangouts and Pete kept on showing up. One night Pete's
house was broken into, and the first people that he called were his
friends from Globalscope, or Canvas, as our ministry is known. Of
course, Kevin and Leah went over to help him clean up, and it was
little moments like that really started to make Pete think that these
people really loved him. Well eventually Nathan arrived in England
and they were fast friends. They began to hangout all of the time and
honestly really grew to have a big love for one another. After
awhile, Nathan and him were having many conversations about Jesus and
faith and all of this God stuff. These conversations kept fueling
Nathan and I would go so far as to say that it fuels the entire team
as well in a lot of ways.
I knew when I showed up tonight that Pete was important. Everyone
loves this guy so much that they talk about him non-stop. I met him
for the first time at breakfast on Saturday, but sadly we did not
really have the chance to connect. So I sat down tonight and we start
talking. He is telling me about going to church with Nathan and his
thoughts on the subject, and how he has been pleasantly surprised and
how he feels like it is good for him. Pete tells me about how he
isn't a Christian, but how he is now open up to the possibility of
God, and how much respect he has for the Canvas people, and how much
he respects Jesus and his teaching.
So I am just sitting there listening and asking him questions. I am
asking questions about what he believes and what he doesn't believe,
about what he has considered and what he hasn't. He keeps answering
honestly and would occasionally say things like "Yes, that's something
I haven't considered" or "Yeah, we've talked about that before, and I
just haven't made up my mind." You know, it was just good talk about
Jesus and all. At one point Pete goes to the bathroom and Nathan says
"Gosh. Every time he starts talking about Jesus, it just about makes
me cry. I want him to know Jesus so much." Pete would come back and
we would talk some more. He kept telling me how much Nathan means to
him, and Nathan says "You're going to make me cry." Pete replied "I
know that I'm going to make you cry one day." Pete knows, because
Nathan has told him so, that when Pete decides to follow Jesus that
Nathan will weep. Pete says "Yeah. I have potential, don't I Nathan?"
Nathan is on the verge of tears again.
This entire time our conversations would be skipping in and out of
talk about TV shows, America, England, and then always back to Jesus.
The guy is just overall hilarious and so much fun to be around, you
can really talk about anything. So the night goes on and Pete keeps
telling me how much Canvas means to him, how Nathan is one of his best
friends, how he had made the Canvas house his second home. Another
thing that we were talking about was Nathan and his granddad, who
hasn't been doing well, and how "Cotton" (as he is known) is such an
amazing man and has done so many great things with his life. And so
that gets me thinking, and I start talking about how amazing it is
that Nathan gets to sit there with Pete and share Jesus with him
because of the fact that his father knew Jesus and shared him with him
and how Cotton had done the same thing. We were all kind of caught up
in the moment of it all, how it was because of Cotton knowing Jesus
that Nathan was sitting there at that table, hanging out with Pete. I
looked over to Nathan and I said "You know, it's almost like the
legacy of who your grandfather was is now being seen right here at
this table, through you, with Pete." And then Nathan starts to tear
up. And Pete is getting caught up in it, and Pete is talking about
how great Cotton must have been because of how great Nathan has been
to him, and now I'm sitting there and the tears begin to well up in my
eyes. Pete raises his glass and says "Here's to Cotton." And I tell
Pete that in ten years he'll be sitting at that same table, loving
someone just like himself and they too will be toasting to Cotton
because of the Jesus that loved us all so much. And you can see that
Pete is truly open to that idea, to that crazy dream.
At one point Nathan goes to make an order and Pete looks over at me
and says: "I can't really put into words what this guy means to me.
He's one of my best friends. I have never had anyone believe in me
like he does."
And you should know by now that Pete knows what we are all about. He
knows that all of this money was raised and everyone left their
hometown and friends and families because they wanted to meet him. I
mean, he knows it. And so I started telling Pete about this ministry
that they have over at Georgia Tech. How there are these 400 hundred
or so students that are coming in and out of the doors throughout the
week, coming in to play games, to talk about their lives, to have
someone listen to them, to eat free food, to love people and to be
loved, and how its a place full of people like him. And Pete just
says that it sounds incredible, and Nathan just sort of exclaims "It
is so big! This whole thing is so big!" and Nathan and I again begin
to tear up in front of Pete, and Pete smiles with us, and we toast to
Cotton again. And I ask Pete to excuse us, that this isn't just a
show, that this is our lives. And he tells us that he knows, and that
he loves us. And he tells me how he can't wait for me to be over
permanently.
And we continued to talk.. it was such an emotional night, and the
conversation was so real and wonderful.
And then I asked Pete if he wanted to know about what I am having to
do be able to come to England to hangout with him. And so I tell him
this whole story, from the very beginning. I told him how I talked at
Cafe CCF back in late November, and how something in that talk changed
me, how it woke something up in me by telling everyone that I wanted
to lose weight, marry a great woman and move to England. How I wanted
to change the world. I told him how what I really wanted was to have
Jesus. I told him how this whole weight loss thing is my greatest
struggle. I told him about the talk that I gave about England the
next week and how something starting working in me, and how I went to
be that Sunday night in December thinking "Today is the day." I told
him all of this.
I told him about the walking, and the asking people to pray and the
conversations with Angie that led to this very email list. I told him
how it started with just a few and how now there are so many more. I
told him all of that and how all of this is because, sure, I want to
live a long life, sure, I want to be healthy and all of that, but
really I want this because I want to come over and hangout with him.
I told him that these 76 pounds have been about him, someone that I
had never met before. I told him all of this and more.
And after this email, Pete will be reading these as well. Pete is
going to be in on this little community. Pete told me that he would
really like to get the emails. Pete made me tear up for the third
time that night.
And right now, by the talk of Cotton, by the talk of CCF, by the talk
of these emails and by the talk of how this is what our lives are
about, Nathan is on the phone with his mom in the other room, crying
his eyes out. Crying, because this is real. Because the Jesus that
walked around with dirty feet and died an ugly death, is now walking
around the streets of Birmingham, walking around with the hands and
the feet of this campus ministry that we call "Canvas." He is walking
right into the arms of Pete, I guy who told me tonight that he never
really felt like he was worth anything, who told me tonight that he
had always hated himself- that is- before he met the people from
Canvas.
We hugged and Pete told me that he loved me, that loved Nathan, and
then we parted ways. Nathan and I practically skipped the entire way
home.
Thanks for reading. You are changing the world.
Love,
Tatum.
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